Edmonton as a Community

I've always wanted to leave Edmonton. It's not a beautiful city. It has poor art culture. It has an extremely high murder rate right now. It has extremely high statistics for depression. It's known for its long, cold winters - which I personally find quite miserable.

Why would I want to stay here?

But, now I'm thinking of staying here. Maybe I shouldn't desert Edmonton. Maybe all this gloomy city needs is to be brought to life. Maybe Edmonton just needs a little more sunshine, a little more sugar in its cereal every morning. Maybe some hearts need to be stirred, some eyes need to be opened, and some smiles need to be shared.

I've met a lot of fantastic people in this city - people with beautiful stories, identities, ideas, and hearts, just waiting to get the opportunity to do something AMAZING with themselves. So many people are seriously underestimated. Maybe you're one of those people - waiting for the opportunity to shine.. to fly. Whatever cliche metaphor you'd like to insert here. ;P

I don't doubt you. You can do whatever you really and truly believe you can, with passionate conviction.

Maybe all we need is a sense of community! ;D It can be scary being a part of something much bigger than yourself... but that's what life is centred around. You've heard the "people are like puzzle pieces" comparison. You've probably been on a team, been part of some sort of group or club, and you've definitely been part of a family. Maybe it's time that we started having that sense of unity among the human race.

Maybe you're just waiting for an opportunity to come your way, so you can reach out and grab it. Maybe you find that all the opportunities that come your way are always just out of reach.

What you need is a COMMUNITY. You need a place to belong with like-minded, accepting, uplifting people. Sometimes all we need is that one big - or maybe just little - push. And you can get that from people with the same motivations as you. Find people who are similar to you, and you'll find where you fit... like in a machine! Parts of a machine don't work very well unless they're in the right place... if you can find the right place for you in life, in your community, your school... in Edmonton... you'll start to see your potential broaden and grow.

To sum all this disorganized mess up... Edmonton needs to grow a better sense of COMMUNITY - and we can make that happen! Whether it's starting up a movement for something you believe in, putting yourself out there more so that like-minded people can find each other, or just being more open-minded and accepting of others... we can make it happen!!

Teenagers: Most Hated

What I've realized is that kids (teenagers) aren't as stupid as we make them out to be. It's all about the perspective people take on them. 


Teenagers don't go out into the world and say, hey, Imma party it up every weekend, get hammered, get laid, make a fool of myself, and then go to school hungover on Monday, repeat this every weekend, in attempts of throwing my future away, disregarding my potential, and eventually ruining my life. 
No. They don't set out to make stupid decisions like that. It's always triggered by something, motivated by a deeper, more profound root cause that is connected to something going on in their life. No one feels the need to escape from reality (use of drugs) unless they have some sort of inner turmoil going on. Have you ever noticed that the kids who don't have a heavy-duty load of stress or angst or hurt to carry, or who have good coping skills, don't engage in the activities society considers so negative? It's only the ones who have difficulty dealing with life - who don't have someone there to guide them and help them grow in maturity... so their maturity eventually just stops progressing... 


In short, kids don't intentionally screw up. They're just hurting. They're aching - and they don't know how to deal with it. Sometimes they're not even aware of this until there's a trigger, and it all rushes to the surface so quickly that it feels impossible to deal with. So to all the adults who are quick to judge and anger... don't. You're hurting, not helping. 

These are my "10 Rules to Live By"

A declaration of my principles.

1. I will not be ashamed of what makes me who I am: the things I am interested in, the way I live my life, or the things I believe - even if others tell me I should be.

- I like myself. I value who I am. I recognize that I am very different from other people. I recognize that there is nothing wrong with this. I always remember that just because society says something is weird, strange, uncool, dark, twisted, abnormal, unnatural, etc, that doesn't mean it's true.

2. I will be honest with myself about my flaws, my faults, my mistakes, and my regrets so that I can acknowledge them, accept them, learn from them, and move on. 


- How do you learn from something you're in denial of? Life is so short, why waste it making the same mistakes over and over again, when you could be making even bigger, better mistakes?

3. I will say what I mean and mean what I say, and keep my promises - I won't make a promise I can't keep. 


- Who doesn't appreciate a person who stays true to their word?

4. I will remember my roots, where I come from, and be humble no matter where I end up. This is to stay a real and raw person.

- Everything I've been through in life - every sad mistake, every bad decision, every time a catastrophe occured because of me... those things will always be a part of who I am. I believe it's important to accept all these things. Even if I don't like the past, I appreciate it, because it got me to where I am today. My knowledge, my wisdom, my experience - all invaluable things that I am so glad to have gained in life - were attained through making all those bad decisions and choices. I won't deny them. I thank the hardships I faced.


5. I will fully and genuinely appreciate the people around me who care about me and have my best interest in mind - the people who accept me as I am, don't require me to prove myself to them, and respect and believe in me always.


- I have the most amazing, wonderful people in my life. I owe them so much credit for helping me become who I am through their constant love and support. It's hard to truly show someone you appreciate them - everyone communicates appreciation and love differently. I say the best way to go about it, is to make sure I'm constantly giving back all the kindness I receive.


6. I will regard all people as equal in regards to worth, including myself.


- I am a human being, just like all my friends and all my family. No matter how much I wish I was a dragon, I will always be a human being. Therefore, I have no authority or right to decide another human being's worth! 


7. I will take full responsibility for all the decisions I make, good and bad and worst. 


- There's no sense in denying anything! If I lie, I need to face that lie. Negative actions or words cause a build up of inner conflict, which leads to more negative actions to be done. The less I lie, the less I steal and hurt others, the less negative energy and conflict I'm building up inside. By dealing with the negativity, I rid myself of that negativity and can move forward with more positive actions, words and feelings.

8. I will not condemn others for what I may think to be bad decisions/choices, mistakes, differences, faults, or flaws. No one needs to prove themselves to me, I will see the good in them and appreciate them as they are.


- Just because I don't like something about someone doesn't mean there's something wrong with them. Plenty of people don't like how fervent I am about some of my beliefs, but plenty of other people love that about me. Though I may see the result of someone's decision, and it may seem bad, I may never know the full story, nor will I always be able to understand where they were coming from, and therefore, I am not in an adequate position to play judge. 

9. I will allow myself to both love and hate, so that neither is watered down, and no lines are blurred. I will hate only when justified/given reason to.


- What's wrong is wrong. What's right is right. I know my morals. I know what I believe in. In a world where so much is gray, I think it's important to make sure that I recognize that some things will always be wrong. Killing an innocent person is wrong. Forcing someone to have sexual relations with you against their will is wrong. Lying will always be wrong. 

10. I will not work to be the best out of everyone, but I will work hard to be happy and live a life that I will fulfilling, and disregard anyone else's ideas, opinions, and criticisms on what makes life fulfilling. I will define fulfillment for myself. 


- Some people think you need to be wealthy and beautiful to be happy. Some people think you need to accomplish much, and be successful. Some people think you need to surround yourself with strong, healthy relationships with like-minded people. Some people think you need to constantly explore and adventure. Some people think you need to full-heartedly commit to a religion or a cause. I will decide what will help me get the most out of life.


--


Writing my 10 Principles to Live By was an excellent journey. Not only did I set rules and standards for myself, but I also learned a lot about myself through really exploring what is important to me, and realizing what I believe will help me to live my life to the happiest and fullest that I possibly can.

Not Ready to Love

I keep seeing teen moms all over the city, and it makes me sad.


It’s not the fact that they are teens and moms at the same time that makes me sad, though. In fact, before I say anything more, let me just make it clear that I’m sure there are many wonderful teen moms out there who really do put their all into the life of their child… 


But what I keep seeing, is young girls with BEAUTIFUL, beautiful babies who will sit there and just listen to their baby scream and wail and cry… and they seem amused by it. Seriously. Or they’ll ignore the screaming kid to talk on the phone, or smoke a cigarette, or laugh with their friend.


I’m positive that at least some of you have seen this… the young girl on the bus whose baby won’t stop wailing, and she just kind of… laughs it off, or provokes the baby/toddler/child even more, because it amuses her, or her and her friend.


And what makes me SO upset, is when you hear those young mothers making comments to the kids about how stupid they are. It sounds like craziness, and it is. But I hear it so much. 


“Shut up! You dumb kid. Jesus Christ! I wish I could kill you.” And then they roll their eyes.


I heard that exact quote today, and it broke my heart. I don’t care if they’re only 1 or 2 years old and don’t understand those words, they still understand and are affected by that rejection from their mother. I wanted to take that beautiful, BEAUTIFUL child up in my arms and tell them, even if they don’t understand me, how WANTED, how precious, how wonderful they are. It just makes me so sad.. 


When you see women who have had babies when they were at a point in life when they were READY to, you can always see the joy in their eyes when they’re looking at their precious child - even when their child is being difficult, or upset in the grocery line or at the bank, they still speak in kindness, they still, at the heart of it, treat their child with actions rooted in love.


Teen moms, not so much. 


But every child - every precious, innocent child - deserves a mother who will treat them with love and kindness, in my opinion.

YOUR BODY:

you experiment with it, do things with it before it’s ready to do those things, pierce it, ink it up, deprive it of sleep, scrape it, cut it, don’t always keep it the cleanest, overwork it, maybe you starve it or maybe you overfeed it, maybe you expose it to toxins (nicotine, alcohol, caffeine…), and so much else… maybe you really just don’t even think about your body much.


And what does your body do for you? Your brain, your heart, your liver, lungs, stomach, eyes, nose, mouth, bones, muscles, nails, etc… they all work together so that you can live your life as you please, so you can live your life with the freedom to experience many different things, so you can talk, see, think, feel, taste, touch, hear, run, jump, dance, sing, bike, skateboard, eat, sleep, walk, skip, hop, climb, stretch, kick, fight, breathe, scratch, punch, hug, kiss, have sex, -insert any verb here-… 


Your body does a lot for you. It holds up through a lot of high stress situations.


But what do you do for it? At the end of the day, do you even appreciate it? Do you put in any effort to keep it healthy, keep it in good shape? It may be useful now, but you won’t be youthful and energetic forever. You put your body through so much to try and make it what you want..


So, appreciate your body. It puts up with a LOT of crap from you.

PAIN: A Form of Matter

I think of PAIN (synonymous with hurt/suffering/sadness/etc) as being a form of matter.
In order for something to be considered matter, it must:

1. Occupy space
2. Have mass
3. It cannot be created (from nothing) or destroyed

So how is pain a form of matter?

1. Pain occupies space in the heart. When your heart is filled with hurt, suffering, sadness, desperation, disappointment, etc… all these things take up space where happiness and peacefulness could be residing.

2. Pain can be a heavy burden on the heart. It can plague your mind. It weighs down on you. When you feel sad, do you not feel heavy-hearted? Your heart and smile are weighed down. Suffering doesn’t leave you very light-hearted. Pain has mass.

3. I don’t think pain is something that is ever created or destroyed - it just exists, and it is spread like a disease. No one causes another person to hurt unless they are already hurting themselves. Maybe you insult someone as a defense tactic because of your own insecurity. Your insecurity is your pain. You just spread it to someone else.
Pain can be conquered, yes, but not destroyed.

^ #3 is why I try to keep myself in check. It’s my theory that people do not feel the need to cause harm or create negativity with others if they themselves are at peace with themselves.
(Peace with yourself = peace with others = peace with the world/environment.)
If I can deal with inner conflict in a positive and healthy manner, it keeps me from having any negativity that I could potentially lash out on others. It seems to work. Whenever I say something negative, I immediately know there’s something going on with me that I need to work through.

^ *That’s also why I think if we could just focus on solving our conflict with our own selves, everyone would be so much happier. If people worked to be more self-aware, and being honest with themselves, and working on themselves until they can be confident and at peace, they would all stop being so cruel to each other. I will fight for this idea, because it’s TRUE. It’s just way easier said than done, since people make their own choices, and I can’t just force anyone to take on my opinions

NON-CONFORMITY.

So, non-comformity usually means refusing to conform to the ways of society. You might think of rebellious teenagers or misfits, when you hear/read that word.

Well, yeeah, maybe sometimes people change how they look, or try to look different, to stand out in society, (swim against the current ;P) to be different from others around them.

But, I think a lot of the time, wanting to change your appearance is more personal than that.

I believe that you are not your body. (WHAT? Is Tempo going crazy? No, this is just kind of abstract now.)

Maybe noncomformity is your mind, spirit, soul.. whatever.. taking a stand against your body and saying, “I REFUSE to change myself in order to fit this appearance!”
It’s giving your spiritual side (the real You, not just the physical, tangible body you inhabit for others to see, touch, taste, feel, smell - interact with) more control, instead of letting it live enslaved/bound to the appearance of your physical form.

That’s how I see it, at least. For example, I dye my hair black regularly because otherwise, when I look in the mirror, I feel weird. It just doesn’t feel right. It’s not me.

AT THE SAME TIME, I DO recognize that it IS important to be able to live with the limits of your body, and love your body for what it is - you were born with it and your body is going to die one day!

I mean, I’m never going to be 6” tall, LOL, and I’ll never be as skinny as a supermodel.
I won’t cry about that.