What I've realized is that kids (teenagers) aren't as stupid as we make them out to be. It's all about the perspective people take on them.
Teenagers don't go out into the world and say, hey, Imma party it up every weekend, get hammered, get laid, make a fool of myself, and then go to school hungover on Monday, repeat this every weekend, in attempts of throwing my future away, disregarding my potential, and eventually ruining my life.
No. They don't set out to make stupid decisions like that. It's always triggered by something, motivated by a deeper, more profound root cause that is connected to something going on in their life. No one feels the need to escape from reality (use of drugs) unless they have some sort of inner turmoil going on. Have you ever noticed that the kids who don't have a heavy-duty load of stress or angst or hurt to carry, or who have good coping skills, don't engage in the activities society considers so negative? It's only the ones who have difficulty dealing with life - who don't have someone there to guide them and help them grow in maturity... so their maturity eventually just stops progressing...
In short, kids don't intentionally screw up. They're just hurting. They're aching - and they don't know how to deal with it. Sometimes they're not even aware of this until there's a trigger, and it all rushes to the surface so quickly that it feels impossible to deal with. So to all the adults who are quick to judge and anger... don't. You're hurting, not helping.
I keep seeing teen moms all over the city, and it makes me sad.
It’s not the fact that they are teens and moms at the same time that makes me sad, though. In fact, before I say anything more, let me just make it clear that I’m sure there are many wonderful teen moms out there who really do put their all into the life of their child…
But what I keep seeing, is young girls with BEAUTIFUL, beautiful babies who will sit there and just listen to their baby scream and wail and cry… and they seem amused by it. Seriously. Or they’ll ignore the screaming kid to talk on the phone, or smoke a cigarette, or laugh with their friend.
I’m positive that at least some of you have seen this… the young girl on the bus whose baby won’t stop wailing, and she just kind of… laughs it off, or provokes the baby/toddler/child even more, because it amuses her, or her and her friend.
And what makes me SO upset, is when you hear those young mothers making comments to the kids about how stupid they are. It sounds like craziness, and it is. But I hear it so much.
“Shut up! You dumb kid. Jesus Christ! I wish I could kill you.” And then they roll their eyes.
I heard that exact quote today, and it broke my heart. I don’t care if they’re only 1 or 2 years old and don’t understand those words, they still understand and are affected by that rejection from their mother. I wanted to take that beautiful, BEAUTIFUL child up in my arms and tell them, even if they don’t understand me, how WANTED, how precious, how wonderful they are. It just makes me so sad..
When you see women who have had babies when they were at a point in life when they were READY to, you can always see the joy in their eyes when they’re looking at their precious child - even when their child is being difficult, or upset in the grocery line or at the bank, they still speak in kindness, they still, at the heart of it, treat their child with actions rooted in love.
Teen moms, not so much.
But every child - every precious, innocent child - deserves a mother who will treat them with love and kindness, in my opinion.
